D3 body, D1 cock
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
