it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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