Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
