i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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