problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
