Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize