either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
