just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
