I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
