Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
