You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
