I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
