btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You need Xanax blowdarts
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
