do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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