You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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