why didn't you poke me back
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize