Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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