Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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