The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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