you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
