ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
