Having a random hookup so left but love u
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
