hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize