So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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