There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
