butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
