I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
