The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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