oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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