I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
