i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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