I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
