Already got asked if we're dating
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
