ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
