i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
