I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I will pee on everything he values.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
