Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
