Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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