So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
