just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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