you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
