I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize