Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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