Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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