He had one of those small greek statue penises
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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