dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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