I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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