I want to stick my p in your. b.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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