i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize