Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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