its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
