Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
how does that bad decision feel?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
