what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
