He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
