yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
