did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
