Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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