Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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