Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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